Killing The White Demon
by VoyeurTheNinja
Summary: Homura lists down a few of her attempts to kill Kyubey, all of them ranging from normal to outright bizarre.


Homura paced the halls of her large, white room. A pendulum-like object swung above her head. Over the course of the timelines, Homura had to repeatedly stop Kyubey from persuading Madoka to make a contract. But, due to the strange system of the Incubators, and the fact Kyubey was expendable, Homura had no luck with finding a way to send that white demon to hell and make him stay there.

She sat down, trying to recall all the efforts she had made.

* * *

Outside Madoka's house, Homura hid in the bush with her red-rimmed glasses on her face. It was the first time she was going to do this kind of act, and she was nervous. She took out a baseball bat, made out of a material that was used for something called the 'Mazinger Z' or something, and gripped it tight in her hands.

She saw the white creature walking up to the house with its ominous blank face. Homura took a deep breath and slowly waited as it got closer. With a tight grip on the bat, Homura leaped out of the bush and slammed her bat on the creature, smashing it repeatedly without any mercy.

She closed her eyes as 'blood' splattered onto her glasses and clothes, spouting, "Ew! Ew! Ew! Gross! Gross! Gross!" With a final swing, the creature was left as a bloody pile of white meat. She sighed in exasperation and smiled, "That was easier than I thought."

"Kyaaaaa! Mom, Dad! There's someone outside our house with a bloody baseball bat!"

"Oh, great!" Homura made a run to the gate as Madoka's mother came out with a double-barrel shotgun – despite the Guns & Sword law – and blasted at Homura, only managing to blow the mailbox next to her to pieces.

"That's right, you better run!"

Minutes later, after the cops arrived, Madoka's mother was arrested for carrying firearms, despite her saying that she saw a girl with a baseball bat outside her house. Homura remembered this memory bitterly, especially now that she knew Madoka's mother owned a gun. She made sure to be cautious the next time she stalks Madoka again.

* * *

"Next," Homura threw away the file that documented that memory. The next one was... slightly disturbing.

* * *

Under a bridge, Homura grabbed Kyubey and tossed him into a bag, tying it up as he struggled to break free. Despite how cute it was, it felt so good to hold Kyubey captive like this. She looked around and tried thinking of a way to dispose it.

Throwing him into the water would be too... cliché, to be honest. So she went back to her house... only to find Kyouko dozing off on her sofa. She noticed an open window at the side of her house and shut it tight, muttering to herself, "I really should get those laser security cameras they're selling on TV..."

Kyouko yawned and opened her eyes, rubbing her eyes as she noticed Homura. The red-head's mind was too drowsy for her to notice the dead Incubator in Homura's hand. Instead, her stomach growled, "You got anything to eat?"

Homura was getting tired of Kyouko freeloading in her house. Smiling at the back of her mind, she nodded and said, "Of course, I just so happen to have fresh meat for cooking."

"Cool," Kyouko fell back onto the sofa and continued sleeping.

Homura went into the kitchen and tossed the bag onto the nearest surface. From one of the drawers, she took out a wok, a butcher knife, some salt and bread, and lastly, a meat tender.

On the very next day, Kyouko was left to suffer internally from symptoms that would be best not described. It was so bad that Kyouko actually stopped being a big-eater and took normal amounts of food. Too bad that timeline was a failure and Homura had to restart it; it was much easier with Kyouko **not **gorging down every 5 **nanoseconds**.

* * *

Homura threw away a few of the documents that came next as they were mainly plans that had not gone wrong or were bizarre in any way. They were mainly things like feeding Kyubey with a grenade, dropping him from a high building, squashing him with a wrecking ball, and stabbing him with a fork. Repeatedly.

Speaking of bizarre, her next document could only be described with said word.

* * *

When Homura was going around, collecting guns, ammunition, artillery, and staples – you know – big ones for her documents, 'cause she needed them bad; it also worked as a weapon when she one time nailed Kyubey onto a wall. Anyways, she had encountered a man by the name of 'Diego', or' Dio Brando', or whatever.

The man was tall, buff, and blond. For some reason, she always saw him travelling around night, and never in day. One time, she got into a fight with the man, and to her surprise, the man was **also **capable of stopping time. Albeit by shouting "**The World**!" or, from what she heard, "**ZA WARUDO**!"

The two had a fight that went on for only a few minutes, but only because the two spammed time-stop so much they were basically teleporting left and right. After going for an hour in their perspective, the man was impressed, and offered Homura a power. He shot her with a strange kind of arrow, and to her surprise, she achieved the ability to summon some kind of supernatural being, which was a reflection of her spirit.

It was called a 'Stand', which held the name of "Those Whom The Gods Detest", which Homura found strange since it was a name of a popular Death Metal song. When she tried asking the man for questions about this power, all he told her were methods of using the Stand, and fun ways of using her time-stopping powers.

She looked at the a 'Stand', it was sleek, covered in colors such as dark purple, black and some white; it was elegant, and at the same time, intimidating at a closer look; much like Homura herself to be honest. After hours of using the Stand on items, she concluded she the poltergeist-like creature could dash at the speed of sound, attack at the speed of sound, could bring out objects like cars and steam rollers, and could not be seen by non-Stand Users.

When she encountered Kyubey again, Homura had began with the methods Dio had taught her.

At first sight, Homura instantly froze time, making everything around freeze and Kyubey mid-walk. She took out a pair of knives and flung it at Kyubey, leaving them frozen in front of him. Then she leaped into the air, using her Stand powers, pulled a Steam Roller out of nowhere and crushed Kyubey with it, the Stand going, "**ROAD ROLLA' DA! WRYYYYYYY!**" Homura continued her assault and commanded her Stand to rapidly punch the Steam Roller with Kyubey underneath it, the Stand going, "**HOMU, HOMU, HOMU, HOMU, HOMU, HOMU, HOMU**!"

The Stand punching speed was immense, from what Homura saw, all she could see were a thousand fists flying through the air and denting, trashing, and smashing the Steam Rollar into pieces. With a large explosion, the vehicle blew up. Homura saw Kyubey still underneath and unharmed, since the effects had not taken place yet.

When Homura let time flow again, the Stand and her whispered what Dio had taught her, "And time resumes..."

The knives shot into Kyubey, the effects of the Steam Roller attack took place, and Kyubey was... barely describable in any sense...

From that day on, taking on any Witch was pretty damn easy. But due to the immense size of Walpurgis, and the fact only magic could defeat it, it was another failure and she restarted the timeline. Disappointing, considering the Stand was pretty damn cool.

* * *

Homura sighed and placed the documents aside. She had to find a way to kill the bastard once and for all.

"Is there a problem, Akemi Homura?"

Without looking, Homura aimed her gun behind her and scored a perfect headshot on Kyubey before it fell to the ground like a ragdoll.

She sighed again and looked at her documents, reading out her next plan to kill Kyubey, "Next step: Find a robot that can pierce the heavens..."


End file.
